I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people
Anxiety really cramps my style like how am I going to seem chill and fun if I often start trembling and breathing heavily and developing a look of impending doom in my eyes
Someone on my Facebook feed today tried to use cool whip to make his macaroni because he couldn’t find milk omg
can you imagine how fucking relieved the french must have been when we reached the year 2000?
they went from having to say “mille neuf cents quatre-vingt-dix-neuf” to just having to say “deux mille” to say the year
My mom still doesn’t understand that they killed off Kate and not Ziva what an embarrassment
sorry sir, we don’t have the facilities for a cat scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report